Walking in on the Kids at Play

Here are some moments - good and bad - of when I've walked in on the kids with the camera. 

Kelsey was using Aiden as her baby doll, put him in the stroller and even buckled him. I'm just glad she didn't try to take him for a walk down the street (gate was closed, no worries).

Reading quietly together! I love it! What a dream this was to happen upon.

Funny, but not to daddy...

They emptied his drink refrigerator into their toy bin. They thought it was hilarious.

Tally found them first and his first reaction was, "Jess, come look at this, you may want your camera."

Aiden was the only one who listened and tried to put them back.

This is a constant battle right now until the harness comes. We didn't need a harness for Kelsey.

Technically I was helping brush their teeth and didn't walk in on them.

This is how they brush their teeth every night, sitting on the counter. 

I get to brush them first and then they get a turn.

Literally walked in on this one. My heart melted.

This is what you'd see if you walked into a photo shoot of me with Aiden.

And here's from the most recent one...

I don't love any of them enough to hang on his wall and that's my goal right now...wall - worthy photos.

What if I give you my sultry look?

Mom, what's going on here?

Love his face, not the composition

Little feet!

Mom, leave me alone!

On another note, we have SQUIRRELS in our front and back yards that keep us entertained almost all day long. While we have breakfast, we watch the squirrels. When we go out for a walk or to do yard work, we get visits from the squirrels. When we clean up all the walnuts they drop, they TRY to drop them on our heads. Seriously.

It's so fun to watch them chase each other, fight, yell at us (one got really close to Kelsey while they were "yelling" back and forth at each other. Tal and I watched, wondering what we would do if the squirrel attacked her). 

Speaking of outdoors... a note TO MY KIDS

Aiden, you LOVE to be outdoors and will often BOLT for the middle of the street, laughing as mommy runs to catch-up with you. Right after breakfast, you go to the back door, begging to go out. Now you'll even go get your shoes or whine until I get them for you and put them on. We have a million "Box Elder" bugs and you are constantly chasing them trying to catch them. Kelsey then comes along and just splats them with one stomp.

Kelsey, you are always picking the flowers and unripe tomatoes despite our constant warnings.

You both love helping me in the yard as I weed, clean out the rock bed (a 20 min. task that took over an hour with my little elves).

KELSEY has been talking up a storm and can carry on a pretty good conversation. People tell us she speaks really well for an almost 3-year-old. She's pretty bossy, definitely and OLDEST. 

I LOVE when I walk into her room and she's doing THIS:

What a sweet angel! She hates taking naps and prolongs/fights bedtime and her little body needs more rest than it is getting. We are trying to improve the routine. It's time to crack down now that Summer is over. 

Grateful

I can't help but feel grateful tonight. Kelsey is still here, all in one piece, sleeping away. Today she fell down a flight of concrete/tile stairs and I found her screaming on the landing. I didn't see what happened. A mother's mantra: I let her out of my sight and I didn't even know it. When I heard her scream, I new exactly what had happened. I've been fearing those stairs ever since she started walking. I was slightly relieved to see her standing and screaming and not lying there broken, dazed or twitching. Every cell of my body still lurched and I almost broke down in tears myself. So today I have learned a valuable lesson without having to pay a high price. For this I am grateful. And for a loving Heavenly Father who looks after our little ones, no matter which side of the veil they are on.


These are not the stairs she fell on, just some she attempted a few weeks ago.
Maybe I'm overreacting, maybe not, but this is my first toddler -okay!

Working Moms

I just clicked on this article and the last point struck me. It made me want to scream, "but it's only five years out of your working life and it's amazing to be able to watch your child grow. They do it SO quickly. It makes me feel so fortunate I can work from home only 2 hours a day. What are your thoughts?

"Would I Really Enjoy Being a Stay-at-Home Mom?

We've all had those stay-at-home-mom fantasies. You're racing to work after another bout of separation anxiety at daycare drop-off and you spot a mom playing with her child in the park. “That could be me!” you think.

Not so fast. The life of a stay-at-home mom isn't all roses and clover. There's a lot of repeating the same tasks, day after day, without much thanks. Many moms find that they enjoy their kids more by having focused time with them outside the work day. Being on duty 24-7 exhausts their patience and makes them worse at parenting.

In the end, being a hands-on mom is a short-term job. In only five years your baby turns into an elementary school student. In another 13 years she's ready to graduate high school. (If all goes well!) Don't make a decision that will have long-term implications by only considering your present situation."

Check out the entire article here.

After I posted this, my friend Kelleyn sent me this email, which is for all you wonderful moms out there:

"It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask , "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

1. No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

2. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

3. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

4. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."

And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Someday, maybe

There will come a day

when seeing you walk doesn't take my breath away.

But that day is not today.

Today I savor each sweet step, watch you walk uncertain but upright,

independent, unsupported,

Big.

Someday, maybe I won't just stop and stare at you whenever you

launch off on your tottering way,

overwhelmed by the milestone I'm witnessing.

Someday it'll be old news.

But that day is not today.

For all of you who thought I suddenly became a beautiful writer, erase those assumptions. This was written by Jessica Sprague of North Carolina and it was in my Digital Scrapbooking magazine I don't subscribe to but somehow have. I echo her words today.

Breast Feeding Woes

***DISCLAIMER***
If you are of the male gender, this post will seem boring, unfamiliar, and maybe even gross. So, save you and me the embarrassment and just skip this one.

We are in the progressed stages of weaning now, not necessarily by choice. But that is okay, I wanted to wean her at some point but the way it happened was this: TEETH. Kelsey has always been a good nurser and has never bitten me. No, no, instead she CHEWS. Or at least that's what it feels like. It's become progressively worse as her bottom teeth have gotten taller. At one point, on the plane ride home from Florida, the bigger jug became cracked and started bleeding. It was so painful to nurse that I rented a pump for several days and gave the milk to Kelsey in a sippy cup (she wont take a bottle now). I thought I was past all this after month 2 - now we're almost to month 11!!

So like I said, we're weaning. I only feed her once in the morning and once at night. Although still painful, it's manageable for now. My dilemma, however, is do I put her on full milk or formula now that she's only getting a little milk from me? I don't want to get her used to formula and then a month later switch to cow's milk! I know the rule is one year for milk, but I've been giving her yogurt and even a bit of milk along the way and she's done just fine. Any advice?

There is a silver lining though. I'm currently wearing a pre-nursing, pre-pregnancy bra! Oh to have underwire again! Also, I've evened out if you know what I mean, which I was REALLY worried about. Before you know it, I'll be able to leave my baby overnight (with a trusted friend or husband of course)! Girls trip anyone?

I've already noticed Kelsey needing to snuggle or be held more often, like she still needs the closeness of breast feeding. I will miss that time together but this is one of those things that must come to an end sometime.

Music to my Ears

Tonight Kelsey finally said "mama!" She said it once in my German class LAST Monday, but I thought it was a fluke. After tonight, there was no mistaking. I tried to get it on camera, but of course, she wouldn't perform. She would only say "Baba, " which is also new as of tonight. Sometimes it even sounds like "Papa" or when she waves and says it, it sounds/looks like she's saying "bye bye." Here's a clip of one of the first times she said "Baba."



I'm determined to get one of her saying "mama" so stay tuned...

Moving On Without Me

I set Kelsey down in her crib sitting up as I was hurried about cleaning the house before Tally got home tonight. Soon after setting her down, she started crying so I went in to check on her. When I saw this, I ran and grabbed the closest camera could find!

She went from sitting to standing! It must not have been very graceful due to the red mark on her face and her cry that sent me in to check on her. One of many I'm sure she'll get while learning to move.

I'm so proud of myself!

In some ways my heart swells with joy that she is learning new things, daring to take the next step. I love watching her smile, proud of her new accomplishments. And usually that's all I feel. But today, with this step, I feel like she's starting to leave the baby phase to rush into the next step and I'm not ready yet. I took out the insert of the pack and play just now. If she were to try to stand up in there she would surely fall out of it. More baby things to pack away and sentimental feelings to figure out where to place. She doesn't like to sit with me or snuggle very long anymore. She always wants to be moving, constantly changing scenery. She's her own little person and I love that about her. No matter how old she gets she'll always be my baby.

Missing In Action - blame it on a vampire love story

I just finished reading the book "Twilight." Everyone who's read it seems to love it and I had to see what all the fuss was about. I read the 500 page novel in 2 days and I'm not a fast reader. Don't worry, Kelsey is still alive and the house isn't a complete disaster - but I'm not making any promises for this weekend. The two sequels are sitting on my night stand. I made myself put "New Moon" down to play with Kelsey and eat lunch but I'm dying to know what happens next. So, if I'm not posting as much and somewhat missing in action, blame it on Bella and her love affair with a vampire. I'll let you know when I've finished and come back to life. :)

Sometimes I Just Watch You

Sometimes I Just Watch You
In awe
I should, could, would
dishes
laundry
phone call
blogging
But instead I just hold you
And watch
As though I've never seen a baby
This smart
This smiley
With bright-eyed curiosity
And I savor
Every laugh to your single audience
A twinge of guilt that I get you all to myself
I'm mommy

Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder

I have always loved this song but never knew the meaning behind it. After hearing it in a restaurant called Papa Joe's when we first came to Switzerland, I decided to look up the words. Keep in mind this was just after we found out I was having a girl. I downloaded the song and started bawling. I never knew this song had so much meaning. I especially love that Stevie Wonder is blind yet he knows of his daughter's beauty. Anyway, so as you look at pics of our little babe, this song will be playing in the background. Sorry if it gets annoying, I wont keep it up forever. Thanks for letting me be sentimental...

Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderful
Isn't she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we'd be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made from love

Isn't she pretty
Truly the angel's best
Boy, I'm so happy
We have been heaven blessed
I can't believe what God has done
Through us he's given life to one
But isn't she lovely made from love

Isn't she lovely
Life and love are the same
Our little Kelsey
Her daddy picked out her name
Jessie, it could have not been done
Without you who conceived the one
That's so very lovely made from love

(Okay, yes, we changed the ending!)