Priceful Memories: A Reminder

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

A Reminder

After complaining to a friend about how I felt wearing a skirt that was too tight because I'd gained weight after having Hannah, this is the letter I received.

Dearest Jess,

I am over 50 and could wear the skirt that I wore before I was pregnant... but only on one leg. I know it's not comforting, but your body will return to the size/shape and beauty that it is supposed to.

I have a scar on my left breast from having a lump removed many years ago. It's quite ugly and I was in a large hot tub at a resort in Arizona. All the women were buck naked in this hot tub; probably 15 women, so I dropped my robe and got in with them. Our breasts kind of floated and bounced in the weirdest ways and we all started to tell stories.

One woman was absent a breast from cancer and she showed us how the scar ran under her arm and around her back. Radical mastectomy with extended skin removal on her back. I said, "I'm so sorry" and she replied that it was her badge of courage. She would not be shamed by it and was determined to use it as a reminder of life.

I have three scars that go hip bone to hip bone and one vertical from my navel to my abdominal scars. Eight surgeries were the preparation to have children for me. And, sadly, a huge dimply butt and thunder thighs resulted from early menopause, depression/chocolate, too much to fill everyday and too much to worry about at night.

The too tight skirt is a reminder that you are healthy, young and have served as a handmaiden to the Lord to bring a gorgeous beautiful girl into the world. The world will never be the same for having Hannah now. Your body is still partly hers -- in due time all will be well with you. The beauty that you posses is in your eyes and comes from the testimony and love that you share; over and over and over.

You know all this - I just want to remind you.

Now - go on to your day and know that you are loved and beautiful and brilliant...just like the stars.

Oh and p.s. You do so much for me just being my friend. I don't feel judged and that is huge to me.

Thanks.

Love you,

I am so blessed by having served and being associated with such amazing women who help remind me I am more than just a mere mortal. I am an immortal being in a mortal state with a mission that this world does not comprehend. Thank you, my dear friend, for reminding me of this and making me laugh and cry within sentences of each other.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...: What a dear, dear friend. I LOVE the letter she sent you. She is magnificent. I think she needs a blog! : ); 4/10/2012 1:35 PM
Mikaela said...: beautifully put, and I love that you shared it. I agree that you are an amazing friend and always make me feel loved and important regardless how trivial the conversation. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. Don't lose sight of that. Also, I have a few books I love that address this topic to a degree, let me know if you want the titles. We aren't here to look perfect (which is a completely biased social standard that makes absolutely no sense and has no founding anyway. . .) but to become perfect.; 4/10/2012 6:49 PM
likeschocolate said...: We need more reminders like this! The thing is I loved that my grandmother was soft around the edges and yet she was still glamorous to me. It is hard though to not let your thoughts go to those places.; 4/10/2012 7:44 PM
berrymom said...: Oh, I love this! Thanks for sharing. Good friends are angels.; 4/20/2012 4:10 AM
AshleyS said...: Jess, I love this. Very sweet, thanks for sharing. Hannah is a doll, can't wait to meet her in person! Love ya!; 4/25/2012 9:09 PM

Kelsey Speaks

April 14: Advertising works, even for kids. Kels just came up to me with my iPhone and the app "Team Umizoomi" ready to purchase. I asked her how she knew about it and she said, "this mom put team umizoomi on for her kids and it teached her kids and he did it all by himself!" I've seen that commercial too, but never realized how much she soaked in! I'm a sucker, I downloaded it.

March 14:

We were having a new babysitter come and Kelsey wanted her to play a game but wasn't sure she'd know how. "What language does she speak?" I said, "English." Kels said, "Oh no!" I said, "Kelsey, did you know that YOU speak English?" She looked surprised, "I do!?"

October 17:

We had our carpet pad replaced today and the carpet guy was using a heavy duty iron that smelled like burning. Kelsey came in and said, "Mom, is that dinner I smell?" Thanks Kels, thanks. Says a lot about my cooking!

October 11:

So I'm on the phone and the Kelsey does soemthing that makes Aiden cry. I tell Kelsey, PLEASE make it better, say your sorry and make him stop crying. She starts singing, "Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine, make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine..." I started cracking up. I think she's a little too obsessed with Tangled.

February 19:
Family prayer
"Thank you that Aiden is incredible and that he could watch Incredibles with me. And thank you that mommy can change things."

February 9:
Family prayer tonight by Kelsey: "Thank you that mommy could be a good listener (?), thank you that mommy can be so stretchable...in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." I laughed and asked her what stretchable meant. She said it meant that I can read Aiden books and change his diaper, put us to bed, play with us, and wiggle us and throw us, stuff like that. Does that mean she's grateful I can do mommy stuff?

January 5:
While at my mom's house in California, she said, "I want to stay at Mimi's forever!" I asked, what about your toys and our home in Utah?" She replied, "I like Mimi's toys downstairs." "But what about your friends back in Utah?" She replied, "they can get in the car and drive really, really far and come see me!" She has it all figured out.

January 4, 2011:
Tally read aloud a sign as we passed a church, "Jesus is making a list." She said, "No, Santa is making a list, and checking it twice."

December 20:
She was sad after I scolded her for taking her brother's food. I asked her why she was sad and she said, "My life hurts right now."
"With Christmas just a few days away?" I said. She perked right up.

December 13:
Tal was going to bed early and we all jumped in bed to give him hugs and say goodnight. Kelsey said, "I like it when our whole family is in bed together. Dad, you're hot. But I like it hot. You're the hottest."

December 9:
I had made a big effort to go to the gym and literally had 30 minutes to work out and then be back before everyone came over for play group. I get Kelsey out of the car and walk around to get Aiden. Kelsey says, "Mom, you can't wear THOSE shoes to the gym!" I looked down and sure enough, I was wearing my Crocs. I'm so glad she saw it before I'd gotten Aiden out of his car seat, gotten the kids checked into day care, and stepped on the treadmill. 10 points for trying, right?

October 22:
"Mom, I don't wanna have a baby in my tummy. I don't want to have a baby doggy come out."

October 3:
"Mom, you shut up and I'll shut down." (playing around with the word shut up to get a reaction from me).

September 30:
"Aiden, you have pretty eyebrows."
August 15
While sitting in our master bathroom, Kelsey said, "You guys have two sinks."
Us: "Yes, we have two sinks, isn't that nice?"
K: "No, I don't like it, you need to take one out. I need more room to sit."
Tal: "When you get married, you can have one sink in your bathroom."
K: "When I marry Aiden?" (who she said she wanted to marry when we were talking about weddings the day before).
Tal: "You can't marry Aiden, he's your brother."
K: "I want to marry DADDY!"
Jess: "He's mine, darlin. Daddy is already married to mommy."
K: "My cousins?"
Us: (Laugh, gave up...we'll have this talk one day when she's ready) She is constantly playing with my bouquet of silk flowers in my room and saying, "I'm getting married mom." I guess she picked that up on her own...I don't think I've ever talked about the flowers with her!

August 11:
As I'm putting her to bed I said, "Kelsey, your little body is so tired because you didn't take a nap today and little bodies need naps."
"And sometimes big bodies do too?" she said.
After the gym today, we caught her doing her hand clasp thing. Tally said, "Don't do that, you're doing it so hard you're getting sweaty."
She replied, firmly, "Well I just back from the gym." (which is true, but she was at the play place at the gym)
May
(While shutting herself inside the kitchen pantry)
K: Alright Aiden, I'm going bye-bye to Lily's house, 2 seconds, and when I come back, I'm going to Zoe's house. Okay? Okay, see ya later.
(about 2 seconds later, she opens the door)
K: Oh, hi Zoe's house!
She has been cracking me up (mixed with a little worry) with her imagination. If you ask her what she did today, she'll say she played with her cousins. We don't play with cousins everyday, but she does, in her imaginary play. She'll tell Libby and Zoe to come downstairs to the playroom or come outside with her. Then I'll hear her telling one of them to go hide or that this doll is for them or that they are nice. She will also throw in Lily and Edie, and an occasional Colton, Carter or Spencer. But that's more rare. Maybe because she sees them the most? Or because they are boys.
She also loves to pretend she's mommy and I'm Kelsey. She'll ask me, "is your pee-pees coming, mommy?" (No, is yours?) She'll also say, "you want a treat Kelsey? Okay. " Or my favorite, "You go in time out mommy, no-no." When I ask what I did wrong she'll say it's because I hit Aiden. Shocking.
She is also such a good sister. When I was reading my friend Mary's blog today who just lost her baby girl and bawling, she came over and gave me a big hug and said, "it's okay mommy." Then, because I wasn't paying attention to the fact that Aiden had run out of Cheerios and was "asking" for more, she fed him her Cheerios. Then she came up to me and said, "mommy, Aiden wants more Cheerios." She's a great little mommy.
5/?- (while Tal is at work)
K: Mom, I want to tell dad I had fun at the doctor today - daddy, I had fun at the doctor today - oh you did - yeah, dr. M was really nice. Yeah? Yeah.
She has little conversations with herself as she imagines the conversation she had or will have. These crack me up. She does it all the time, I just need to remember to write them down.
5/29 -
K: Mom, don't let Swiper come swipe our new house, okay?
M: Okay, I will. I'll tell him, Swiper no swiping, okay?
K: Yeah!
She's on this kick where she says "everytime" or "everday" with almost every sentence. I guess she's learning how to tell time/days?
She also sings all the time, usually "I am a Child of God." How can I ever get mad at that sweet little thing?
February 1, 2010
J: "Kelsey, get up on the stool so we can wash your hands."
K: "Mommy, you need to pull my pants up first."
J: "Okay, sorry"
K: "You don't need to say sorry mami."
She's been saying sorry to EVERYTHING and so I think she's heard that a lot lately from me. It's funny to hear your own words come from the mouths of your little ones.
January 28, 2010
K: "I want to be baptized."
J: "You do? How old are you?"
K: "TWO! Aiden wants to be baptized too."
J: "You have to be 8 to be baptized."
K: "Oh, I EIGHT!"
A little boy was baptized last Sunday and she started noticing it more in her books about Jesus and we talked about it a few times this week. But the subject hadn't come up this day - she said it out of the blue.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

A Reminder

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